Contentment vs. Complacency

Godliness with contentment is great gain...  I fully believe this.  Is there a difference between contentment and complacency?  There is no doubt, there is.

I believe we indoctrinate our children children to be complacent.  Schools teach children to never think too far outside of the box, never color outside of the lines.  In fact, never paint pink what is "supposed to be" blue.  We have become such a standardized society, it is either go along with it or be left behind, cast aside.  So we go along, telling ourselves, "This is the way it has to be."

How does this translate to our churches?  We Protestants often laud Martin Luther as a hero of the faith for having the courage to buck complacency and give rise to the Protestant Reformation.  But would we have the courage to pound the nail?  Do we even have the guts to disagree with our denomination's doctrinal stance when we cannot agree in our heart of hearts?  Or are we content to go along, to follow the crowd, believing "it doesn't really hurt anything"?

I had to smile when I heard a conversation between Taliesin, my ten-year old son, and his church music teacher a few days ago.  Taliesin was showing her some of his recent ocean creature drawings.  When he came to the lobster, she asked him if he likes to eat lobster.  He explained to her that he is vegetarian.  She seemed a bit surprised and asked, "Don't you like hotdogs?"  He made a disgusted face and, again, said he is vegetarian.  She told him some of the seafood she likes to eat.  He listened politely, but he did not give up his stance.  It was a perfectly respectful conversation on both sides.  But I was so proud that he did not give in for the sake of not standing out - not even when an adult, a teacher-figure, had questions.  I feel confident that Taliesin will not give into complacency.  The meaning of his name - "having a firm brow" - is so appropriate for him.  I believe we could take a few lessons from his determination.

Godliness with contentment in all circumstances, when we have little or when we have much, is great gain.  Complacency for the sake of going along, is great loss - not only for us, but for the Kingdom of God.  For God has given us our interests, our talents, our passions for a reason.  I believe He expects us to use them. 

Just some thoughts today about differences, unschooling, and God...

In I Corinthians 6, Paul discusses the issue of lawsuits among believers.  How often we read this and think, "This really does not apply to my church today."  I used to think this as well.  But now I wonder how many times we truly live out this concept. 

Example #1:  When a family needs help financially or even needs assistance with the basic needs of life - food, clothing, shelter - does the church send them to someone else?  How often do Christians condemn a welfare recipient as lazy, and then expect that individual to "ask the church" for help. 

I have heard more than one example of families who were turned into child protective services by a member of their church.  The church "family" member was concerned that the children did not have enough to eat or did not have their basic needs met.  If this fellow Christian truly felt this concern, was taking it to the government the proper course of action?  Was it really the Christian thing to do, based upon I Corinthians 6?

Example #2: Why do we often make it our business to judge someone else's lifestyle? 

I encounter this a lot with my son, Taliesin.  I have had more than one Sunday school teacher question how he learns.  I have received many comments (or condemnations) from well-meaning Christians about the way my husband and I choose to educate our sons.  They believe in a different philosophy of education than I do.  That is fine.  Differences of opinion are fine.  Differences in education are fine.  Not recognizing that differences of opinion are okay is not fine. 

What many Christians so often fail to recognize is today's American education system is based upon the Greek model of learning - not upon the Bible or the early church or Jesus or ancient Hebrew.  Not that the Greek model is wrong for everyone.  But it's also not right for everyone.  And to hail the Greek education model as the only Christian way is not only wrong; but, in my mind at least, it violates the very premise of I Corinthians 6.  We are handling private matters through the government or the government's way. 

Just some further thought: 

In the first example, are we not rendering to Caesar that which is God's?  Scripture is clear in both Old and New Testaments that we are to care for the needs of one another.  Jesus' teachings on the division of His true servants from those who only claim to be, Paul's teachings on bearing one another's burdens - these are just a couple of examples. 

In our second example, are we not doing the opposite? - rendering to God that which is Caesar's?  We are placing man's ideas and philosophies on the same level, if you will, as God's.  We are saying, "This is the only correct way" when the Bible does not say that at all.  We are placing societal "rules" in a position of authority.  Is this not contrary to what Jesus taught against in His "Render to Caesar" teaching?  Is this not what the nation of Israel did prior to her fall in the Old Testament?  God calls this type of devotion to society above devotion to Him by name - idolatry, unfaithfulness, spiritual adultery. 

What a dangerous territory...

Summer Fun

Summer Activities

So far this summer, Taliesin and Nathanael have been delving into sewing, cavemen, the Vikings, and lots of outdoor fun.  For those that are not friends with me on Facebook, I have posted many updates and photos.  I seriously need to get better about blogging.  Oh, for more time in each day. 

Kandy

More on Ancient China

Taliesin and Nathanael have been doing so well on their ancient China study. Their lapbook is now four file-folders big. LOL We began our study with Ping. Then we moved into the importance of obedience. We've also been studying the culture of ancient China. Today, we specifically got into dynasties. Nathanael had a blast studying place values as we wrote the years of each dynasty. He's my little mathematician and scientist. Taliesin, of course, loved studying the history and culture. He is my thinker.

Lapbooks help Taliesin so much with his reading. He has an awesome comprehension, but he does struggle with the mechanics of reading. But reading what he has written and thought-out helps him so much.

We are supposed to be getting our tax refund next week, so we will be picking out new lapbooking kits. Taliesin is excited! And I am going to be investing in a new digital camera as well to take some pictures of all their hard work!

Kandy

A long time

I realize it has been a long time since I have updated this blog. This past year has been one of ups and downs and struggles. We have done a lot of natural learning combined with the art activities, lapbooks, and other things that Taliesin and Nathanael love.

Starting again today, I am wanting to update this blog more with Taliesin's and Nathanael's activities. For the past week or so, they have been studying ancient China - thanks to an interest in the Disney movie Mulan. We've been going back through our Ping study as well as throwing in information from the History Channel's website and other historical websites (and even information from the Voice of the Martyrs) for information about China itself.

Looking forward to blogging more!

God bless.

Kandy

First Day of Not Back to School

The school kids all went back to school today; so we decided to make today our first day of NOt BaCK tO sCHOol! We've been having fun. We have made Chinese dragon puppets and studied Chinese dynasties. Taliesin has been sewing up a storm today. We have read books. This evening, we are going to bake a cake to celebrate our not back to school freedom! Oh, and Taliesin wants to get started on learning more about ancient Greece (thanks to Percy Jackson). It's so much fun to not go back to school!

Kandy

Our Day of Rest

Taliesin's snowy picture

Nathanael's lines and shapes

Today we had a real day of rest. We slept too late for church, so we decided to just enjoy. We went bike riding this morning, got McDonald's and went to the neighborhood park. We spent the morning playing, exploring, and reading. When we came home, we played Thomas trains, and Taliesin and Nathanael doodled with the Paint program we have on the computer. It's been a nice day. Sometimes we really do need a day with just each other.

Kandy

Creation Science lapbooks

For the past week, we have been working on creation science lapbooks and unit study from In the Hands of a Child. Taliesin and Nathanael have been having fun with them! I was surprised that Nathanael wrote the words in the last two pictures by himself ("No Fear" and "Do Not Be Afraid"). He was writing about the behemoth and leviathan.

Kandy

Learn Nothing Day

Well, we failed miserably at this year's Learn Nothing Day. Darn it... we learned things. How could we? First thing this morning, Taliesin and Nathanael learned how to build a UFO at Lowe's. Then they had the nerve to build new inventions with their mini Legos and erector sets. It was just a failure.... Sigh... Guess it just goes to show learning happens whether we try or not. Oh, yes. Now I remember. That's what unschooling is all about. ;^)

This wasn't today. This was actually a beetle that Nathanael insisted we rescue from Wal-Mart's parking lot yesterday evening. He didn't want it to get squished. So we took him home so he could fly in our yard.

Kandy

Organic Learning

Kandy

Money Man

One of Taliesin's favorite games is a game he invented called "money man." Whoever is playing takes turns being either the buyer or the cashier. The players buy items from around the house - toys, books, art, water bottles, chairs. Whatever looks good at the time. The cashier decides on the price. And the buyer counts out play money to buy the item. Eventually, everyone gets to be both the buyer and the cashier several times. Sometimes things can get interesting. For instance, last night a magnifying glass from the dollar store went for $200.99. Expensive, yes. But it's worth it to see Taliesin using his imagination and learning in his own way. (Now you can see why we use play money instead of real money - LOL). Some weeks we play this game daily. And Nathanael is even starting to get into this game.

It's amazing the things children will invent when we allow them to. Just think of how much less Taliesin and Nathanael would be learning if I sat them down with money worksheets and forced them to learn to count money.

Kandy

Education

I found these posters at the dollar store today and fell in love with them. Whoever coined the phrase "Education is a journey, not a race" is nothing short of genius, in my humble opinion. All too often, education is viewed as a race - who can get "there" first is the winner. Where "there" is, I am not quite sure. True education is about the process. It does not matter who does what first.

When I saw this poster, I thought of unschooling. My sons' education is not about meeting grade level or passing a series of standardized tests. My sons' education is about, first and foremost, giving glory to God. What better way for them to give glory to God than to explore the interests and passions that He gave them? What better way for them to give glory to God than to use their talents? I've said before that Jesus was very specific about talents. If we do not use them, what we have been given will be taken away. Using those God-given talents is the best way to enjoy the educational journey.

Many unschoolers shy away from the word education, because of the way that it has been used - as a synonym for institutional learning. That is not the way I view this word. I view the word education as something that encompasses all of life. We can gain education so many ways. The journey never ends.

This second poster is awesome! I have blogged before about differences and how sometimes differences cause conflict, especially with children. I hope this poster will speak to others the way it spoke to me.

As an unschooler, I often am asked how I keep records for my sons. Since we do not really plan what we do - it's child-directed (except, of course, for the little bit of structured learning Taliesin requests) - how do we keep records in case they are needed? Well, I try to keep this blog for a type of educational records. But, of course, it often turns into opinion pieces about life (education), in general.

This top picture is of a chart that hangs on our playroom door. Each day, I write down generalizations of what Taliesin and Nathanael do each day. I include everything. After all, as I wrote above, education is life and life is education.

The picture below includes my teacher's journals. I write as often as I can in more detail about what we do and why. I fit those generalizations into categories (what schools call subjects). Sometimes it also includes some opinion pieces.

And, of course, since Taliesin and Nathanael have been getting more into lapbooks, these provide a good portfolio of some of their studies. (We just finished "mosquitoes" and "everyone has different abilities" and are getting reading to begin "spiders"). Right now, there is a plastic storage container full of finished lapbooks and a milk crate with those we're working on a little at a time. It is a little easier for me to keep records with lapbooks, something that I'm thankful for. But it is possible for unschoolers to keep good records with a little time invested.

Kandy

Water Slide

Well, I did it tonight - the water slide I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. Before we left the water park this evening, Taliesin and I went down the slide. Taliesin went underwater and popped right back up. I went down and up and down and up and down and up. Finally, I made my way to the edge and walked to the steps. It was fun and exciting and terrifying to someone who has never done it before and is just learning to swim. Yeah, I will do it again next time.

Kandy

Christian Unschoolers Group!

I am so excited to be a part of this group! Thank you, Lauren!

Kandy

What Is Unschooling?

There are so many different definitions of unschooling out there. And when one puts the adjective "Christian" in front of "unschooling," the definition becomes even more varied. There are those who believe that only radical unschoolers are true unschoolers. There are those who believe that relaxed homeschoolers are unschoolers. Then there are those who question how unschooling can be Christian at all.

Not to complicate matters more, but I am going to throw in "my" definition of Christian unschooling - or, in reality, what our Christian unschooling adventures "feel" like.

We began our homeschooling adventure four and a half years ago. Taliesin was three and was, at that time, receiving speech therapy through the public school system (home visits). This speech therapy kind of threw us into homeschooling sooner than we planned, because those from the public school system did not agree with homeschooling a child with special needs. So we began homeschooling in the only way I was familiar with - a traditional preschool program. We knew within a couple of months that this was not working, so I began exploring other options. Thanks to Home Education Magazine and some online groups; we began implementing child-directed methods.

Throughout the past four and a half years, we have implemented unschooling more and more. I have tried the radical approach - unschooling parenting approaches as well. While I totally respect parents who follow this approach; I have found that this was not the best approach for my family - especially after starting a childcare. I have to have rules set. Yes, children should help set those rules and should know the "whys" behind those rules. However, we do have rules, nonetheless. I have seen children in traditional systems that have no rules. I do not want that for my sons. I believe radical unschooling works for many because they are completely natural learners. When we decided to begin a childcare, socialization kicked in. There are children in childcare from all different environments. I naively thought respect comes naturally for everyone. In so many cases, it does not. It not only has to be modeled, it often has to be taught... and taught. When young children see others who do not have that respect, they will try themselves and, all too often, will copy - socialization at its worst. That is when I decided that I have to make rules of respect and require that they be followed. I guess that means I'm no longer a radical unschooler.

There are those who believe if a parent uses any type of "curriculum," this parent is no longer an unschooler. This type of belief works well for Nathanael. He prefers nature-based learning, building with Legos, making inventions, and conducting his own science experiments. However, for children like Taliesin, this is far from the case. Taliesin enjoys some structure. He loves the same things that Nathanael does; but he also enjoys unit studies and lapbooking. He loves Five in a Row and In the Hands of a Child. He even loves trying out the lesson plans I write for college. This is his choice, not something that I require. Am I, therefore, no longer unschooling because of Taliesin's growing into more structured learning? He has been bugging me all day to finish a mosquito lapbook he's been working on this week. Should I not allow him to do this because it is too "traditional"? Whatever the label or lack thereof, I cannot deny him his own way of learning.

Lastly, something that I have been struggling with is the idea that children should be allowed to develop their own spirituality - free from interference of the parents. I firmly believe that children will grow into their own spirituality. However, this does not mean that I will not teach them Christian beliefs and character education. There are fun ways to incorporate spiritual formation into children's lives. One of Nathanael's favorites is the Resurrection Eggs, often used at Easter time. Taliesin enjoys these as well, but he also loves - again - more traditional methods, including memorizing Scripture. Veggie Tales DVDs and cartoons on the life of Christ are also always hits here. As a Christian, I cannot allow an unschooling label to interfere with my Christian beliefs.

I have been reading a book called Christian Unschooling by Teri J. Brown. I am really enjoying it, because I can see myself in a lot of the stories. I believe in unschooling because I believe God created all of us with our own unique talents and interests (I, all too often, see children who have lost that God-given gift because of forced educational methods). I believe that children can direct their own learning. I also believe that we are to train our children in the ways of the Lord. I also believe that respect is essential - from both the parent and the child. Sometimes this can be taught by modeling alone. Sometimes it cannot.

As you can tell, I have been thinking a lot. I have a lot of mixed emotions. I just wanted to share some of those thoughts. Do I still consider us unschoolers? You can bet I do. I firmly believe in child-directed, natural, organic learning - whichever way a child chooses to learn.

Kandy

Freedom

This week, we have been discussing freedom a lot. We have discussed the importance of the words of the Declaration of Independence. We have discussed how so many people have been willing to die to ensure that we keep our freedom; and that these people deserve our thanks and respect. We have discussed what it really means when we salute the flag or sing our national anthem.

On Wednesday of this week, we did something unique for our freedom study for the 4th of July. We discussed that one God-given freedom that we all have is the freedom to be different than one another. We completed a fun activity from the In the Hands of a Child project pack "Everyone Has Different Abilities" that presented the idea that all of us do have different talents and interests.

This summer, I have quite a few children in childcare that are from public schools. And, as is natural, sometimes they do not understand the way Taliesin and Nathanael do things. They do not have to learn anything by a certain time. They do not have to memorize sight words or multiplication tables or feel pressured to learn in ways that do not fit their learning styles. And sometimes, despite my best explanations, Taliesin, especially feels different than the others. He does not want to change the way we do things. He has just the amount of structure he wants with using Five in a Row and lapbooks, plus our unschooling learning activities. He does not want to attend a traditional co-op. And he definitely does not want to go to a public school. (He considers them boring from what the other children have told him). But sometimes it is just so obvious that he feels different. When the others begin discussing what they "had" to do at school at one time or another, he has nothing to add to the conversation and usually goes off to play by himself. Not only this, but Taliesin does still have an imagination - something that many of the boys in my childcare that are his age do not use anymore. I, personally, believe that is a direct result of too much testing in schools - forcing children to take on stress and worry that they should not have to. But I could be wrong. But sometimes others do not know how to take the way Taliesin plays imaginatively.

Yesterday evening, something wonderful happened. There is a new city art program in Salina - Arty the art van travels from park to park, place to place, showing children how to do art projects other than drawing or paiting. Well, any readers know, this is right up Taliesin's alley. He loves art, and he loves to use his imagination. So we went to one of the events. Taliesin started a weaving project, and one of the organizers of the event (an art student at a local college) complimented him on his work. I had to brag a little on my little artist. I told her he started drawing when he was two - he drew a picture of a person and put on eyes and a nose and ears. He hasn't stopped since then. She looked at Taliesin and said, "You're a lot like me, then." Taliesin asked her how. She told him she started doing art when she was little, too, just like he had been doing. And now she is studying art in college and working as an artist. Then she started playing and using her imagination. She took pipe cleaners and showed him how to make a mustache. They made mustaches and used different voices for each mustache for quite some time. I have not seen Taliesin so happy in a long time. He literally began skipping around the park shelter. He would make something unique and run over and show it to this lady. She would compliment him, and he would skip around again. Once I even told him to settle down a little; and he informed me, "But mom, I am having fun." No matter how much Kelsey or I would tell him that it's okay to use his imagination or encourage his creativity, even if others do not understand; I think what he really needed was a stranger to tell him, to show him.

Before Taliesin and Nathanael left, the organizer took a picture of them with their artwork. I think she gained a life-long friend, and Taliesin gained his freedom - the freedom of truly being able to be different and knowing that it's okay.

Kandy

Fears

I am believing more and more that the way we rear our children can cause fears and phobias. I have never liked the term "free range children," because it sounds too cattle-like to me. But I am coming to understand that term more and more.

When I was a child, I was never allowed to do certain things - do things that would cause me to get dirty, go places that could be less safe than others, etc. I was never allowed to go hiking, for instance, for fear of snakes and insects. I was never allowed to go to a lake because the water would be dirty. I was never even allowed play in the dirt. Believe it or not, I never even finger painted until I was in sixth grade. I was always pushed toward academics. Now, don't get me wrong, I have always enjoyed academics; but, to this day, there are some phobias that I have.

A good example happened on Friday evening. Kelsey and I took Taliesin and Nathanael to Salina's new water park. Now, you have to remember, I had not been in water other than the bathtub or sprinkler park since I was eight years old when I took two swimming lessons before I quit for various reasons. I am now thirty-five. Taliesin and Nathanael had a blast; and, I admit, I did, too. It was so nice letting go and just having fun. I think what really made it sink in was when Taliesin went down a small water slide, and I could not bring myself to. I have told myself, when we go back, I am going to go down that slide.

Since we have started unschooling (back when Taliesin was three years old), I have done things that I have never done before - hiking in the hills, finding rocks at the lake, playing at the water park. I think what I see is that I do not want Taliesin and Nathanael to allow fear to hold them back. I see children whose parents are afraid, much like my mom was, to allow their children to be children. I know what that feels like as an adult. I do not want Taliesin and Nathanael to grow up with those fears. I want them to be adults who aren't afraid to swim in the ocean or climb a mountain or fly an airplane or travel around the world (Taliesin's goal).

So does that make me a believer in "free range children"? I still do not like that label. And I still exercise caution with my sons. I'm not going to let them roam around anywhere they want to go alone. I do believe in adult supervision. But I also believe that children should be given the opportunity to try new things, even if that means scrapes, bruises, dirt, and bug bites.

Kandy

Weather

A couple of days ago when we went to visit my dad, he had the weather channel on his television. (For those that do not know, we do not have cable). This weather channel fascinated Taliesin. He questioned what each color stood for on the weather map and watched the videos of tornadoes that were being shown. When we got home, he recorded everything he had seen on his own weather map. Needless to day, he is very much in a weather-studying mood now. He loves the weather channel's website now. Last night, when we went to visit my dad again, he turned the TV to the weather channel just so he could talk with Taliesin about it. :^)

Kandy

Recently

Things have been crazy for the past few weeks. Three and a half weeks ago, my dad had a heart, a stroke, and was hospitalized for double pneumonia. He was in the hospital for over a week and has been under the care of full-time nurses since then. He is doing better. The pneumonia is better at least.

On top of that, I just finished up the two college classes I have been working on for this past eight weeks and started my first summer class of the year. I'm glad I picked an easy one - Evangelism 101. After this summer, I only have eight classes left before graduating with my double major. I am excited about that.

I have so many things to share that Taliesin and Nathanael have been working on - insect studies (including finding and providing habitats for live insects to observe them), creation astronomy studies, dance recitals, karate tournaments, project fairs, bubbleology studies, a new volume of Five in a Row, lots of art and science projects, penpals, the list could go on. I really need to get the pictures downloaded and posted.

Lastly, aside from my work with the childcare; I am also back to working on my books. I have just really felt that I need to get these written and published (either traditionally or through self-publishing). They really are a calling for me.

I am going to try to get everything caught up on my blog - again. I hope this time I actually can!

God bless.

Kandy